| Pages in topic: < [1 2] | Child from bilingual family reluctant to speak more than one language Thread poster: Todd Field
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| Don´t force it | Apr 10, 2008 |
In your case, as your child understands very well both languages, it is just a matter of willing. He should have some bad idea of spanish, of latin culture, etc...
No matter what you try, I think it won´t improve anything if you insist too much.
In my case, when I was a kid, I spoke indeferently two languages , as my mother is Spanish and my father French. As none of them spoke well the other language, they had no other option then speaking to me in their own tongue. T... See more In your case, as your child understands very well both languages, it is just a matter of willing. He should have some bad idea of spanish, of latin culture, etc...
No matter what you try, I think it won´t improve anything if you insist too much.
In my case, when I was a kid, I spoke indeferently two languages , as my mother is Spanish and my father French. As none of them spoke well the other language, they had no other option then speaking to me in their own tongue. They were told that children don´t get confused, and that you have to speak with them in your mother tongue.
Now I have a baby two months old, to whom I speak French, and to whom his Mexican mother speaks Spanish.
I hope it will be automatic for him to learn both.
Perhaps the main problem in your case is that the child, as many United states citizens that have Latin Origins, feels ashamed of it. In the family of my wife, a brother is resident in USA and has three children. The childs are reluctant to speak Spanish even at home, which is the only language spoke there. Their spanish is far from perfect. The problem can be from a psychological point of view. Better no focus on it, not force them, and only try to help them apreciate both cultures.
Best regards,
Aitor Aizpuru ▲ Collapse
| | | | hazmatgerman (X)
Local time: 16:04
English to German
| multilingual liberty | Apr 11, 2008 |
Dear concerned parent:
don't worry: It'll come out all right when the kids are away from the parents, with speakers of the "unused" tongue that do not speak their usual language. They switch most willingly. We have seen this happen.
Multilingualism ist one of the best - and most cost-efficient - gifts we can pass on.
Good luck.
| | | | Thorson
Local time: 16:04
Danish to English
Daina Jauntirans wrote:
The thing all of the discussion groups, articles, books, etc. on this subject seem to forget is that kids have a will and personality, and they may (for whatever reason) decide simply not to speak the language you wish they would speak regardless of what method you use. Maybe it's just because they know I want them to!
lol, very true.
| | | | Maria Ramon 
United States
Local time: 09:04
Dutch to English
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| Multilingual family | Apr 17, 2008 |
Don't worry, this will straighten out by itself, it depends very much on your kid's personality and the kind of environment he/she is in.
My parents were Dutch, emigrated to Venezuela; they spoke Dutch to each other (and maybe to us when we were very little?)and we all spoke Spanish at home and of course everywhere else. We had to learn English in school, 1 hour a day, mandatory, and thought it was very hard!
As a young adult, 19 I went to Holland, speaking only Englis... See more Don't worry, this will straighten out by itself, it depends very much on your kid's personality and the kind of environment he/she is in.
My parents were Dutch, emigrated to Venezuela; they spoke Dutch to each other (and maybe to us when we were very little?)and we all spoke Spanish at home and of course everywhere else. We had to learn English in school, 1 hour a day, mandatory, and thought it was very hard!
As a young adult, 19 I went to Holland, speaking only English and Spanish, learned Dutch. Married a Dutch man and we had a son. I spoke Spanish to my son, his Dad only Dutch. When he was 2 1/2 we went to live in Indonesia, my son learned Malay within the month, fluently! It took me 3 months! He started going to pre-school at the Joint Embassy school, which was all in English, when he was 3 years old. He spoke, Dutch, some Spanish, English and Malay by the time he was 4.
We moved to Singapore and he learned Mandarin from a neighbor's daughter with whom he loved to play, at 5 years old.
My daughter was born in Indonesia, and she was 8 months old when we moved to Singapore and she didn't even talk! I thought, and stilll think so, that she heard too many languages there: Tamil, Mandarin, other Chinese dialects, English, Dutch, Malay.
When she was 17 months old I moved with my kids to Medellin, Colombia. There my son caught up on Spanish real fast, especially going to school. My daughter finally started talking when she was about 2 1/2 and her first word was "aguacate"!
Both are now in their early thirties and speak several languages. My son lives in Europe and my daughter lives here, (we own a duplex and live "in the same house, but not together") and has a son born in the US, his Daddy is Dutch, but at home they only speak English, because we live in the US, however!, my grandson, who is 32 months old, watches Dora, the explorer and Go, Diego and learned Spanish without anyone teaching him.
My daughter and I speak Spanish, when we are alone, but we haven't taught him!. He just picked it up from the TV!
We are trying to teach him some Dutch, because he has Dutch grand parents who don't speak a lot of English, and he seems to get the pronunciation quite right.
I believe, that if you don't push a child, it will pick up a language all by itself. I have never pushed my kids to learn any language, and when we moved to a different country, they would go to school, start learning the language and it would take them somewhere from 3 to 6 months to master it.
All children are like "sponges" and if not forced, will pick it up naturally; that goes for everything, not only languages.
Children are curious by nature, and that in itself will entice them to learn, I saw that with my kids, and see it again with my grandson; he has learned the alphabet because he wants, no one forced him; he also knows his numbers, and can count in English and Spanish. He surprised both me and my daughter with that, and the Spanish words he knows.
Just provide the children with the means, and their curiosity will entice them to pick it up! They are all little miracles, who can do more than we give them credit for!
And the main thing: don't worry! a child will pick up on that too!
Enjoy your children, they grow up too fast! ▲ Collapse
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| Bilingual daughter | Apr 17, 2008 |
My husband is Norwegian and I am Scottish and we have lived in Norway since 1995. Before our daughter was born in 1997 we had a chance to find out other parents' experiences in Norway where one of the parents was Norwegian and the other was a native English speaker. The majority of children we met spoke both languages to varying degrees, but most of them were quite lazy about it. For example, when speaking in Norwegian they would switch to English for half a sentence or a sentence or two where t... See more My husband is Norwegian and I am Scottish and we have lived in Norway since 1995. Before our daughter was born in 1997 we had a chance to find out other parents' experiences in Norway where one of the parents was Norwegian and the other was a native English speaker. The majority of children we met spoke both languages to varying degrees, but most of them were quite lazy about it. For example, when speaking in Norwegian they would switch to English for half a sentence or a sentence or two where they couldn't immediately think of a term in Norwegian. It sounded awful to our ears and my husband and I were determined that our daughter would learn to speak both English and Norwegian fluently.
Our strategy was to speak only English at home, which is what we did from the day she was born, without exception. She only started learning Norwegian when she started nursery. She is now almost 11 and speaks both English and Norwegian fluently, and has never questioned it since she has never known anything else. I think the trick is to set the terms when they are born and rigidly stick with it. I would strongly suggest that your wife continues to speak Spanish without actually saying "we need to speak Spanish", just do it naturally. Of course, having lots of books, CDs and DVDs, games etc. in Spanish would also be a great benefit. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Thorson
Local time: 16:04
Danish to English
| A lot of good tips. | Apr 23, 2008 |
Carole Hognestad wrote:
My husband is Norwegian and I am Scottish and we have lived in Norway since 1995. Before our daughter was born in 1997 we had a chance to find out other parents' experiences in Norway where one of the parents was Norwegian and the other was a native English speaker. The majority of children we met spoke both languages to varying degrees, but most of them were quite lazy about it. For example, when speaking in Norwegian they would switch to English for half a sentence or a sentence or two where they couldn't immediately think of a term in Norwegian. It sounded awful to our ears and my husband and I were determined that our daughter would learn to speak both English and Norwegian fluently.
Our strategy was to speak only English at home, which is what we did from the day she was born, without exception. She only started learning Norwegian when she started nursery. She is now almost 11 and speaks both English and Norwegian fluently, and has never questioned it since she has never known anything else. I think the trick is to set the terms when they are born and rigidly stick with it. I would strongly suggest that your wife continues to speak Spanish without actually saying "we need to speak Spanish", just do it naturally. Of course, having lots of books, CDs and DVDs, games etc. in Spanish would also be a great benefit.
Those are more good tips. "I think the trick is to set the terms when they are born and rigidly stick with it." Yes, that's really important.
I'm surprised about the kids who mix languages in sentences--I imagine they're copying what they heard a parent (probably father) doing as that doesn't normally happen. Was the mom the Norwegian?
It probably works better with mommy and daddy languages if the couple live in the father's country, as it's mom who will be speaking most with the child at an early age, and, to be honest, it's most likely fathers who will be lazy about the language and possibly mix up languages in sentences if they're the one who is in the foreign country.
[Edited at 2008-04-23 12:45]
| | | | | What my parents did... | May 9, 2008 |
Hello!
I will tell what my parents did to me, my sister and my brother.
My Dad is Italian and Mom is French (she lived in Italy almost all her life but has always been very attached to her native country), and we live in Italy. No one ever forced us to speak French but hearing it spoken very often at home (and in a very natural way... not telling us "now we are goning to speak French!") we learned it as well as we learned Italian even before going to school. When we stated school the... See more Hello!
I will tell what my parents did to me, my sister and my brother.
My Dad is Italian and Mom is French (she lived in Italy almost all her life but has always been very attached to her native country), and we live in Italy. No one ever forced us to speak French but hearing it spoken very often at home (and in a very natural way... not telling us "now we are goning to speak French!") we learned it as well as we learned Italian even before going to school. When we stated school they decided to send us to a French institute (in Italy... of course), not only to learn the language but also to acquire all the cultural knoledge we could not get since we were living in Italy (and because the Italian culture was present in our everyday life). I know that it is not easy and not cheap to send a child to a foreign school (usually they have high rates!!) but I think that a language is not only something that you speak but also something that you live in.
Actually for us the two languages are on the same level, we never thought that one was mothertongue and the other one was a second language, we always used both of them as our own primary language.
I wish you good luck with your son, try to make him understand that both languages are part of your family, of his life... ▲ Collapse
| | | | rossa_lisa
Local time: 17:04
Arabic to English
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| no need to worry | May 11, 2008 |
iam 22 years old girl, and i was raised by an Arabic dad and Hungarian mom, well mommy is Hungarian but she lived in Rumania, when i turned 5 i was able to talk Arabic Hungarian and Rumanian fluently , then when i intered the school enviroment i've added English and French . after i finished school i entered the university and studied spanish language and italian. learning a language became something very easy i've got the tips to learn new languages. thanks to my bicultural family made me sm... See more iam 22 years old girl, and i was raised by an Arabic dad and Hungarian mom, well mommy is Hungarian but she lived in Rumania, when i turned 5 i was able to talk Arabic Hungarian and Rumanian fluently , then when i intered the school enviroment i've added English and French . after i finished school i entered the university and studied spanish language and italian. learning a language became something very easy i've got the tips to learn new languages. thanks to my bicultural family made me smarter and learn easily. ▲ Collapse
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Laura Morwood
United Kingdom
Local time: 15:04
English to Dutch
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| Motivation is key | Jun 16, 2008 |
Hi, this subject certainly has everybody's interest!
I have 3 girls, who all have a different approach to speaking Dutch (my mothertongue). We live in Nothern Ireland, so English is spoken most of the time. I try to speak Dutch to them but this is difficult at times because i'm so outnumbered. My youngest girl (5) couldn't be bothered even trying to say some words, but when i explained she would not be able to speak to her 1 year old niece in time (who lives in Holland) she was kee... See more Hi, this subject certainly has everybody's interest!
I have 3 girls, who all have a different approach to speaking Dutch (my mothertongue). We live in Nothern Ireland, so English is spoken most of the time. I try to speak Dutch to them but this is difficult at times because i'm so outnumbered. My youngest girl (5) couldn't be bothered even trying to say some words, but when i explained she would not be able to speak to her 1 year old niece in time (who lives in Holland) she was keen to start learning! Every child is different, but I think finding motivation for your son could be important. Still, he is young and has loads of time. The foundations will have been laid for both languages.
The other thing i would like to say is, don't feel guilty if you think he's not going to be the perfect bi-lingual child. These little people have a mind of their own and you can't force them! With kind regards. ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Don't worry, but don't give up. | Jun 19, 2008 |
I agree with all of those who tell you not to worry; but you should also not give up on one language. Continue to speak both languages to your child. My mother is Ecuadorean and my father is from the US, I have 5 sisters and we are all 100% bilingual. We grew up mostly in Latin America and attended both American and Ecuadorean schools.
I went through a similar phase as your child when I was 5. I had just started kindergarten in an American school and was almost kicked out becaus... See more I agree with all of those who tell you not to worry; but you should also not give up on one language. Continue to speak both languages to your child. My mother is Ecuadorean and my father is from the US, I have 5 sisters and we are all 100% bilingual. We grew up mostly in Latin America and attended both American and Ecuadorean schools.
I went through a similar phase as your child when I was 5. I had just started kindergarten in an American school and was almost kicked out because I refused to speak English. I understood it perfectly, but I decided since everyone around me (and particularly my grandparents) spoke Spanish there was no reason for me to speak English. I had a very understanding teacher and I eventually grew out of the "no English" phase.
I graduated from an Ecuadorean high school and eventually went to live in the US to study college and then lived there for many years. Although I had spent most of my life in Ecuador, when I started college none of my classmates had the slightest inkling that I had not grown up in the US. I have a perfect accent in both English and Spanish. Being bilingual is a great gift that you can give to your child. Don't push them too much when they are little, but don't give in either. Continue speaking to them in both languages and buy them books in both languages as well. Try to offer as many opportunities as possible for listening/reading in the language that is not dominant in the country you live in.
Cheers,
Helen ▲ Collapse
| | | | Susana Alves
Portugal
Local time: 14:04
Portuguese to English
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| It may not even be about language | Aug 21, 2008 |
I may be way off mark here, but both my 7year old daughter and 4 year old son have gone through different stages of wanting to be more like mommy or like daddy. It may be that this is what is happening with your child and when the attention moves to the other parent the willingness to speak the other language will improve.
-Susana
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